Michelle Pettengill, LCSW Michelle Pettengill, LCSW

The Real Reason Couples Keep Having the Same Argument

Ever feel like you and your partner are stuck in the same argument on repeat?

It’s not about the dishes.
Or the calendar.
Or how loudly the other person breathes. 😅

What you’re really arguing about is emotional safety.

Here’s what I see over and over with the couples I work with:
👇 One partner says: “You never help.”
👇 The other hears: “You think I’m failing.”

When anxiety, burnout, or unmet needs are involved, conversations turn into survival mode—fast.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

🧠 In this article, I break down:

  • Why your nervous system plays a hidden role in conflict

  • How communication habits often reinforce disconnection

  • What to do instead—using emotional safety + co-regulation tools

🔗 Read the full article below if you’re ready to move from repeat conflict to real connection.

💬 And if your work impacts your home life (or vice versa), you’re not alone. Let’s talk about sustainable strategies for staying emotionally well in both places.

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